Before you ever assume you can bring a baby to a wedding, you’ll want to be considerate enough to check with the bride and groom. Some weddings state that they don’t want any children present at the ceremony.
Be respectful of such requests. Usually, they are to prevent disruptions during the actual ceremony. If you are a nursing mom and invited to a wedding and it states no children, it’s reasonable to ask if there is a nursing mom’s lounge in the facility where you can hear everything without being disruptive. If so, this is usually acceptable, otherwise, bringing a baby to the actual ceremony will be a no-no.
If it is permissible to bring children and babies to the wedding, be considerate of other guests and if baby or children are making too much noise during the ceremony, it’s time for you to forfeit and remove the baby or children from the room so that others can watch the ceremony.
This doesn’t make you a bad parent. One can never predict how a baby or child is going to act during an important event. Of course, there is a bit of tension or excitement in the air, this is normal at such an event.
Babies and children seem to be very sensitive to such feelings of tension or excitement and it’s not unusual for them to choose this time to act out. If it doesn’t bother those around you, if it doesn’t bother the bride and groom or the officiant, just try to quiet the baby or child so that the ceremony can be finished.
There are going to be plenty of people willing to hold a baby. Sometimes this is too much of a good thing and you have a baby that has become overwhelmed. If you have a baby that is a “mommy’s baby or daddy’s baby” you’ll have to be gentle but firm with those types of people who are trying to help. Explain politely that baby is at an age where if he or she is out of sight of dad or mom, a fit may well ensue.
There are also those who you don’t want in contact with your baby due to germs or other issues. In this case, you’re going to have to be very polite but firm to keep baby safe. Have a few gentle answers at the ready for such people. You can also take pictures of cute moments and keep them safe in a baby memory book which can be shared with the rest of the family at a later time.
After the wedding, most receptions are much more kid friendly these days. You may wish to hover near a few friends that baby is familiar with so that you can sneak off to the bathroom or grab a bite to eat during the reception.
Keep in mind that most weddings aren’t really that long, if a baby isn’t welcome at the ceremony but is allowed at the reception, maybe you could bring along a teen that could watch baby somewhere nearby until you are done with the ceremony.